--- title: Relationship Counselling in Sunninghill | Centred Counselling description: Relationship and couples counselling in Sunninghill, Sandton. Support for communication problems, recurring conflict, emotional disconnection and rebuilding trust --- 1332 Naivasha Road, Sunninghill [info@centredcounselling.co.za](mailto:info@centredcounselling.co.za) [084 485 3541](https://wa.me/27844853541) [![Centred Counselling](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/hs-fs/hubfs/logo.jpeg?width=1254&height=1254&name=logo.jpeg "Centred Counselling")](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/?hsLang=za) - [Home](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za) - [About Me](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/about-me) - [Articles](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/article) - [Counselling](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/counselling) - [All Counselling Services](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/counselling) - [ADHD Counselling](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/adhd-counselling-sunninghill) - [Anger Management](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/anger-management-sunninghill) - [Chronic Pain Counselling](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/chronic-pain-counselling-centred-counselling) - [Grief Counselling](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/grief-counselling-sunninghill) - [LGBTQ+](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/lgbtq-counselling-in-sandton-centred-counselling-mediation) - [Marriage Counselling](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/marriage-counselling-in-sunninghill-sandton-centred-counselling) - [Porn Addiction](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/porn-addiction-counselling-in-sandton-centred-counselling) - [Premarital Counselling](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/premarital-counselling-in-sunninghill-sandton-centred-counselling) - [Relationship Counselling](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/relationship-counselling-in-sunninghill-centred-counselling) - [Mediation](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/mediation) - [Video Resources](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/mental-health-vlogs-video-resources) - [Contact](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/contact-us) - [Book NOW](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/booking) [BOOK NOW](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/booking?hsLang=za) [WHATSAPP US](https://wa.me/27844853541) Relationship & Couples Counselling # Relationship Counselling in Sunninghill, Sandton Understanding the patterns affecting your relationship — and finding a way forward. [Book a relationship counselling session](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/booking?hsLang=za) [WhatsApp us](https://wa.me/27844853541) ![Byron Werbeloff, Specialist Wellness Counsellor](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/hs-fs/hubfs/portrait_under_200kb.jpg?width=95&height=95&name=portrait_under_200kb.jpg) **With Byron Werbeloff** Specialist Wellness Counsellor & Mediator In-person in Sunninghill · Online sessions available On this page [Understanding Relationships](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/relationship-counselling-in-sunninghill-centred-counselling#understanding-relationships) [When Couples Stop Feeling Connected](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/relationship-counselling-in-sunninghill-centred-counselling#connection) [Communication](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/relationship-counselling-in-sunninghill-centred-counselling#communication) [Why Couples Keep Fighting](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/relationship-counselling-in-sunninghill-centred-counselling#recurring-arguments) [Emotional Disconnection](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/relationship-counselling-in-sunninghill-centred-counselling#emotional-disconnection) [Intimacy and Sex](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/relationship-counselling-in-sunninghill-centred-counselling#intimacy) [Infidelity](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/relationship-counselling-in-sunninghill-centred-counselling#infidelity) [Trust](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/relationship-counselling-in-sunninghill-centred-counselling#trust) [Relationship Conflict](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/relationship-counselling-in-sunninghill-centred-counselling#conflict) [Relationship Patterns](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/relationship-counselling-in-sunninghill-centred-counselling#patterns) [Marriage and Long-Term Relationships](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/relationship-counselling-in-sunninghill-centred-counselling#marriage) [When One Person Wants Counselling](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/relationship-counselling-in-sunninghill-centred-counselling#attending-alone) [Relationship Counselling in Sunninghill](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/relationship-counselling-in-sunninghill-centred-counselling#local-counselling) [How Relationship Counselling Can Help](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/relationship-counselling-in-sunninghill-centred-counselling#how-counselling-helps) [Frequently Asked Questions](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/relationship-counselling-in-sunninghill-centred-counselling#relationship-faq) ## Relationships Are More Than Love Relationships can become difficult even when two people still love each other. Sometimes the problem is communication. Sometimes it's resentment that has built up over years. Sometimes one partner feels ignored, criticised or emotionally disconnected. Sometimes the couple has simply become so focused on work, children, finances and everyday responsibilities that they no longer feel like partners. And sometimes the problem is much more serious — infidelity, repeated conflict, loss of trust or the feeling that the relationship has reached a point where neither person knows what to do next. One of the things I often see in relationship counselling is that couples become focused on the argument rather than the pattern underneath it. The argument might be about money. Or sex. Or the phone. Or household responsibilities. Or something that happened three years ago. But underneath the argument there may be something else: ## When You Live Together But Feel Alone A couple can still live together, share a home, raise children and manage their responsibilities while becoming emotionally disconnected. You may still talk every day — but only about the children, work, money, shopping, appointments and household responsibilities. That's communication, but it isn't necessarily connection. The relationship may look perfectly functional from the outside. But internally, something has changed. Related article: [Your Partner Can Be Right Beside You and Still Feel Alone](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/centred-counselling-blog/your-partner-can-be-right-beside-you-and-still-feel-alone?hsLang=za) ### Why Couples Keep Fighting (This Is What You’re Missing) [Watch on YouTube →](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vOi_w765Ss) ## Communication Problems in Relationships Most couples don't struggle because they don't communicate. They struggle because they don't feel understood. A conversation can quickly become: “That's not what I said.” “You never listen.” “You're always doing this.” “I'm fine.” “Nothing is wrong.” “You should know what's wrong.” Over time, conversations become less about understanding each other and more about defending yourself. And eventually, one or both partners stop talking altogether. Related article: [The Biggest Lie Couples Tell Each Other Is "I’m Fine"](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/centred-counselling-blog/the-biggest-lie-couples-tell-each-other-is-im-finetagline?hsLang=za) ### Why Couples Keep Fighting (This Is What You’re Missing) [Watch on YouTube →](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vOi_w765Ss) ## When the Same Argument Keeps Happening Some couples have the same argument over and over again. The subject changes, but the pattern doesn't. One person feels criticised. The other feels ignored. One pushes for a conversation. The other withdraws. The more one person pushes, the more the other withdraws. The more the other withdraws, the more abandoned the first person feels. And the cycle repeats. The problem isn't always the argument. Sometimes the problem is the cycle the couple has developed around conflict. Related article: [Controlled Anger vs. Reactive Rage: Finding Power](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/centred-counselling-blog/controlled-anger-vs.-reactive-rage-finding-power-centred-counselling?hsLang=za) ### Why Couples Keep Fighting (This Is What You’re Missing) [Watch on YouTube →](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vOi_w765Ss) ## When “We're Fine” Doesn't Mean You're Fine A relationship doesn't necessarily deteriorate because people stop loving each other. Sometimes they stop letting each other know them. You stop mentioning things because you don't want an argument. You stop asking questions because the conversations never seem to go anywhere. You stop reaching for affection because you've been rejected too many times. You stop talking about your worries because your partner immediately gives you advice instead of listening. Eventually, both people can become experts at functioning together while knowing less and less about what is happening inside each other. That is emotional disconnection. And it can happen very gradually. Related article: [Your Partner Can Be Right Beside You and Still Feel Alone](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/centred-counselling-blog/your-partner-can-be-right-beside-you-and-still-feel-alone?hsLang=za) ### Why Men Lose Good Women Too Late | The Truth Most Men Learn After It’s Gone [Watch on YouTube →](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PwHa5_STcw) ## When Intimacy Starts to Disappear Sex is often treated as the main measure of relationship intimacy. But intimacy is much broader than sex. It includes affection, physical touch, emotional openness, curiosity, attention, feeling appreciated, feeling wanted, feeling understood and being able to talk about difficult things. When those things gradually disappear, sexual intimacy can change as well. And sometimes couples try to solve a sexual problem without addressing the emotional distance underneath it. Related article: [Why Do People Cheat? The Psychology of Infidelity](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/centred-counselling-blog/why-do-people-cheat-the-psychology-of-infidelity-centred-counselling?hsLang=za) ### Cheating Isn’t About Sex: The Real Psychological Reason People Cheat [Watch on YouTube →](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csVovTxZK7w) ## When Infidelity Enters the Relationship Few things destabilise a relationship as quickly as discovering that your partner has been unfaithful. But the psychological questions are often much more complicated than: “Why did they cheat?” That doesn't excuse betrayal. Understanding why something happened and excusing it are two completely different things. Related article: [Why Do People Cheat? The Psychology of Infidelity](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/centred-counselling-blog/why-do-people-cheat-the-psychology-of-infidelity-centred-counselling?hsLang=za) ### Real Case Study of Infidelity | Why He Cheated on Her [Watch on YouTube →](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPwQ4RjlklU) ## Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal Trust isn't rebuilt because someone says: “You can trust me.” It's rebuilt through repeated experiences of behaviour that are consistent with trust. After infidelity or another major breach of trust, couples may struggle with checking phones, questioning whereabouts, fear of another betrayal, intrusive thoughts, uncertainty, defensiveness, repeated reassurance seeking and difficulty believing explanations. The injured partner may feel that they need answers. The partner who caused the betrayal may feel that nothing they do is enough. Related article: [Can a Relationship Survive Infidelity?](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/centred-counselling-blog/can-a-relationship-survive-infidelity-centred-counselling?hsLang=za) ### Can a Relationship Survive Infidelity? 8 Steps To Save It After Cheating [Watch on YouTube →](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yRXdHJUmxo) ## When Conflict Becomes the Relationship Conflict isn't necessarily evidence that a relationship is failing. Two people can disagree and still feel connected. The more important question is what happens during conflict. Does one person withdraw? Does the other pursue? Does criticism replace curiosity? Do conversations become personal? Does someone shut down? Do arguments continue until somebody gives up? Does the couple eventually return to the problem and actually resolve it? Related article: [Controlled Anger vs. Reactive Rage: Finding Power](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/centred-counselling-blog/controlled-anger-vs.-reactive-rage-finding-power-centred-counselling?hsLang=za) ### Why Couples Keep Fighting (This Is What You’re Missing) [Watch on YouTube →](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vOi_w765Ss) ## Understanding the Pattern Between You One of the most useful things relationship counselling can do is move the conversation away from: “Who is causing the problem?” and towards: “What keeps happening between us?” For example: One partner feels ignored → they become more demanding → the other feels criticised → they withdraw → the first partner feels even more ignored → they push harder. Neither person necessarily intended to create that cycle. But once it becomes established, both people can start reacting to the pattern rather than responding to each other. Counselling can help make that pattern visible. And once you can see the pattern, you have something you can actually change. Related article: [The Biggest Lie Couples Tell Each Other Is "I’m Fine"](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/centred-counselling-blog/the-biggest-lie-couples-tell-each-other-is-im-finetagline?hsLang=za) ### Why Men Sabotage Happy Marriages (Even When They Love Their Wife) [Watch on YouTube →](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8J1Ucmiv2QI) ## When Relationships Change Over Time People change. Careers change. Children arrive. Financial pressures change. Health changes. Sexual relationships change. Priorities change. The person you married at 25 may not be the same person you are living with at 40. And neither are you. Sometimes relationship problems aren't caused by a lack of love. They're caused by two people continuing to relate to older versions of each other. Related article: [Why Are South Africans Getting Married Later?](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/centred-counselling-blog/why-are-south-africans-getting-married-later?hsLang=za) ### The #1 Marriage Killer I See Every Day [Watch on YouTube →](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-bq5yBcI8U) ## What If My Partner Doesn't Want Counselling? You shouldn't necessarily have to wait for both partners to be ready before you start looking at your own part in the relationship. Sometimes one partner initially comes alone because their partner refuses counselling, they don't know how to communicate what is wrong, they are unsure whether the relationship can be repaired, they want to understand their own behaviour, they are considering separation, or they want help responding differently to recurring conflict. Individual counselling can sometimes be useful even when couples counselling isn't currently possible. ## Relationship Counselling in Sunninghill, Sandton If you're looking for relationship or couples counselling in Sunninghill or the surrounding Sandton area, I offer counselling for individuals and couples aged 16 and over, both in person and online. Relationship counselling can be useful when you're dealing with communication difficulties, recurring conflict, emotional disconnection, intimacy problems, infidelity, loss of trust or simply a relationship that no longer feels the way it used to. My approach is focused on understanding what is happening between the people involved, rather than simply deciding who is right or wrong. The aim isn't to force a particular outcome. It's to understand the relationship, identify the patterns that are causing problems, and work out what needs to change. ## How Relationship Counselling Can Help Relationship counselling isn't about deciding who is right, who is wrong, or telling one person what they should do. It's about understanding what is happening within the relationship and identifying what needs to change. - Communication — learning to have difficult conversations without immediately falling into the same arguments. - Recurring conflict — understanding the cycle that keeps causing the same arguments. - Emotional disconnection — rebuilding curiosity, affection and emotional connection. - Trust — working through breaches of trust and understanding what is required to rebuild it. - Infidelity — understanding what happened, addressing the impact and deciding what happens next. - Intimacy — exploring emotional and physical intimacy and the factors affecting it. - Resentment — addressing disappointments and frustrations that have accumulated over time. - Boundaries — understanding where healthy boundaries are needed within the relationship. - Responsibility — separating explanations for behaviour from excuses for behaviour. - Relationship transitions — navigating major changes such as marriage, parenthood, career changes or other life transitions. - Individual relationship difficulties — understanding your own patterns when your partner isn't participating in counselling. - Rebuilding the relationship — developing new ways of relating rather than repeatedly trying to return to how things were before. The aim isn't to create a perfect relationship. It's to understand the relationship you actually have — and work out what needs to change. “The question isn't always ‘Who is right?’ Sometimes it's ‘What pattern have we fallen into, and how do we change it?’” ## Frequently Asked Questions Can relationship counselling help if we keep having the same argument? Yes. Counselling can help identify the underlying cycle that keeps producing the same conflict and help couples develop different ways of communicating and responding. Do we both need to attend couples counselling? No. Individual counselling can also be useful when one partner isn't ready or willing to attend. Can counselling help after infidelity? Yes. Counselling can help couples understand the impact of the betrayal, address communication and trust issues, and determine whether and how the relationship can move forward. Can you help with communication problems? Yes. Communication difficulties are one of the areas commonly addressed in relationship counselling, particularly when conversations repeatedly become arguments, defensiveness or withdrawal. Can relationship counselling help if we're considering separation? Counselling can help you understand the relationship and the patterns contributing to the difficulties. It does not require you to decide in advance whether you will stay together or separate. What if my partner says nothing is wrong? You can still attend individually. Counselling can help you understand your own experiences and consider what you can change or communicate differently. Do you offer marriage counselling? Yes. Marriage counselling is part of relationship and couples counselling and can address communication, conflict, intimacy, trust and other relationship difficulties. Do you offer online relationship counselling? Yes. Sessions are available both in person in Sunninghill and online. ## More Relationship Videos More from the Infidelity Explained playlist. ← Previous Next → ### Infidelity Explained by a Counsellor | Case Study Revealed the REASON [Watch on YouTube →](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dY0dttaHPo8) ### Psychological Reason People Cheat (Part 2) [Watch on YouTube →](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2c-sbA2v25c) ### Why “Good” Relationships Still End in Cheating (Part 1) [Watch on YouTube →](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ali0xUbQhAg) ### How Losing His Job Resulted in Him Cheating (Part 3) [Watch on YouTube →](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5cMOYB-t4Y) ### The Realisation | Why He Cheated (Part 4) [Watch on YouTube →](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkKjvxsk9Yo) ### He Knows Why He Cheated | Now What? (Part 5) [Watch on YouTube →](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUTcmrgw12g) ### Don’t Know Why You Cheated | High Chance of Reoccurrence (Part 6) [Watch on YouTube →](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVBntFN2Uk8) ### Why Infidelity Happens 90% of the Time According to a Marriage Counsellor [Watch on YouTube →](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AERfGeKlQ-w) ### 10 Signs Your Partner Is Cheating (Know in 150 Seconds) [Watch on YouTube →](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8SgAp4thQw) ### Why Some Men Sabotage Good Relationships (Too Late They Realise) [Watch on YouTube →](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOwRyDkdaPc) [View the full relationship and infidelity playlist →](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLtzAXPuOmIqlAOsW_EnmcGUWrjlaj3a36) ## FIND A WAY FORWARD Sometimes the problem isn't that you don't love each other. It's that you've become stuck in a pattern neither of you knows how to change. Let's talk about what's happening — and what can change. [Book a relationship counselling session](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/booking?hsLang=za) [WhatsApp us](https://wa.me/27844853541) 1332 Naivasha Road, Sunninghill, Sandton, 2191 [084 485 3541](tel:+27844853541) · [info@centredcounselling.co.za](mailto:info@centredcounselling.co.za) ![Centred Counselling](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/hubfs/raw_assets/public/centredc2/images/logo1.png) Empowering individuals and couples through evidence-based counselling and mediation. Registered ASCHP professional (WC24/9024). 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