---
title: Handling Criticism About Your Sexual Orientation | Centred Counselling
description: Learn how to respond to criticism about your sexual orientation, set boundaries, protect your wellbeing and find support through LGBTQ+-affirming counselling.
image: https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/hubfs/Handling_Criticism_Blog_Image_Under_100KB.webp
---
1332 Naivasha Road, Sunninghill
[info@centredcounselling.co.za](mailto:info@centredcounselling.co.za)
[084 485 3541](https://wa.me/27844853541)
[](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/)
- [Home](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za)
- [About Me](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/about-me)
- [Articles](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/article)
- [Counselling](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/counselling)
- [All Counselling Services](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/counselling)
- [ADHD Counselling](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/adhd-counselling-sunninghill)
- [Anger Management](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/anger-management-sunninghill)
- [Chronic Pain Counselling](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/chronic-pain-counselling-centred-counselling)
- [Grief Counselling](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/grief-counselling-sunninghill)
- [LGBTQ+](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/lgbtq-counselling-in-sandton-centred-counselling-mediation)
- [Marriage Counselling](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/marriage-counselling-in-sunninghill-sandton-centred-counselling)
- [Porn Addiction](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/porn-addiction-counselling-in-sandton-centred-counselling)
- [Premarital Counselling](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/premarital-counselling-in-sunninghill-sandton-centred-counselling)
- [Relationship Counselling](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/relationship-counselling-in-sunninghill-centred-counselling)
- [Mediation](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/mediation)
- [Video Resources](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/mental-health-vlogs-video-resources)
- [Contact](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/contact-us)
- [Book NOW](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/booking)
[BOOK NOW](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/booking) [WHATSAPP US](https://wa.me/27844853541)
[AnxietyRelief](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/centred-counselling-blog/tag/anxietyrelief) [LGBTQ+](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/centred-counselling-blog/tag/lgbtq)
# Handling Criticism About Your Sexual Orientation | Centred Counselling
Byron Werbeloff
Author
Oct 22, 2026, 4:33:09 AM
**Coming Out email moved to Checked off.**
**Next: Handling Criticism About Your Sexual Orientation — 9 October 2026**
**Page title:** Handling Criticism About Your Sexual Orientation | Centred Counselling
**Meta description:** Learn how to respond to criticism about your sexual orientation, set boundaries, protect your wellbeing and find support through LGBTQ+-affirming counselling.
\[Download the supplied image\](C:/Users/cash/OneDrive/Desktop/webtemlates/centeredcounseling/blogs/Handling\_Criticism\_Blog\_Image\_Under\_100KB.webp)
---
# From the Counsellor’s Chair
## How to Handle Criticism About Your Sexual Orientation: Protecting Your Confidence and Emotional Wellbeing
Criticism about your sexual orientation can be painful, particularly when it comes from family members, friends, colleagues or people whose opinions matter to you. Comments may be openly hostile, disguised as jokes, framed as concern, or presented as pressure to change. Even a brief remark can stay with you long after the conversation ends.
You cannot always control what another person believes or says, but you can work out how you want to respond, what boundaries you need and where to find support. You do not have to convince everyone to agree with you in order to deserve respect.
### Why Criticism Can Affect You So Deeply
People generally need connection, belonging and acceptance. When someone challenges an important part of your identity, it can feel as though your relationships or place in a family, workplace or community are at risk. Criticism may trigger shame, anger, anxiety, sadness or self-doubt—even when you know the comment is unfair.
Repeated prejudice can also create ongoing stress. You may start anticipating rejection, monitoring what you say, avoiding certain settings or replaying conversations in your mind. These reactions do not mean you are weak. They can be understandable responses to repeated judgement or uncertainty.
### Recognise the Difference Between Disagreement and Disrespect
People may hold different beliefs, including religious or cultural beliefs. However, a difference of opinion does not give someone permission to threaten, humiliate, harass or demean you. You are allowed to expect respectful treatment, even when another person does not understand your experience.
Pay attention to the behaviour as well as the words. Is the person asking questions in good faith, or repeatedly insulting you after you have asked them to stop? Are they respecting your privacy, or outing you to others without permission? Is the conversation safe, or are there threats and attempts to control your choices? These differences can help you decide whether to explain, set a boundary, disengage or seek support.
### You Do Not Have to Defend Your Identity
When criticised, you may feel an urge to prove that your life is valid or to answer every accusation. Sometimes a conversation with a trusted person can build understanding. But you are not required to debate your identity with everyone who challenges it.
Before responding, ask yourself: Is this person genuinely open to listening? Do I feel safe? Would answering help me, or leave me drained? Choosing not to engage can be a reasonable boundary. It does not mean the other person is right.
### Practical Ways to Respond to Criticism
- **Keep it brief.** A short, calm response may be more effective than a long explanation.
- **Name the boundary.** Explain what behaviour you will not accept, such as insults, slurs or jokes at your expense.
- **Repeat yourself if needed.** You do not need to keep inventing new explanations. Calmly restate the boundary.
- **Leave when the conversation becomes unsafe or abusive.** You can end a conversation, leave a setting or seek help rather than continuing to engage.
- **Choose the right setting.** If a conversation matters and feels safe, you may prefer to speak privately rather than in front of an audience.
### Words You Can Use to Set Boundaries
Adapt these examples to your circumstances and only use them when it feels safe to do so:
- “We may see this differently, but I expect to be treated with respect.”
- “I’m not asking you to agree with every aspect of my life, but I am asking you not to insult me.”
- “I’m happy to have a respectful conversation, but I’m not going to continue if you speak to me that way.”
- “That is personal information. Please don’t share it with anyone else.”
- “I’ve explained my position. I’m not going to debate this further.”
### When Criticism Comes From Family or Close Friends
Criticism from loved ones can be especially difficult because you may care about maintaining the relationship. You might choose to explain how their comments affect you, ask for a more respectful conversation or set limits on certain topics. It is also okay to take time apart if repeated interactions are hurting you.
You can care about a family member without accepting every behaviour. A boundary is not a way to force someone to change their beliefs; it is a way to clarify how you are willing to be treated and what you will do if the boundary is ignored. For example, you might end a call when insults begin or limit conversations about your personal life.
If you depend on the person for housing, money, education or care, consider the practical consequences before confronting them. You may need to prioritise safety, build support quietly and seek advice from someone trustworthy before making a change.
### Criticism at Work, School or in Public
If criticism becomes bullying, harassment, threats or discrimination in a workplace, educational setting or public service, consider documenting what happened and when, keeping relevant messages, and reviewing the organisation’s reporting options. Where appropriate, seek advice from a trusted manager, human-resources representative, student-support office or relevant local service.
You do not have to disclose your sexual orientation to report inappropriate behaviour if you would rather keep that information private, although the details needed will depend on the situation. If there is a risk of violence or immediate danger, prioritise getting to a safe place and contacting appropriate emergency or support services.
### Managing the Emotional Aftermath
A difficult interaction can continue affecting you after it ends. You might replay what was said, think of responses you wish you had given, or question how others see you. Rather than criticising yourself for having these feelings, acknowledge that the interaction was difficult and give yourself time to settle.
- **Talk to someone supportive.** Choose a person who respects your privacy and will listen without minimising what happened.
- **Separate the comment from your self-worth.** Another person’s prejudice or discomfort does not define your value.
- **Limit repeated exposure where possible.** Mute, block or reduce contact with people who repeatedly target you online, when doing so is safe and practical.
- **Reconnect with what matters to you.** Spend time with people, activities and communities that help you feel grounded and accepted.
- **Seek additional help if distress persists.** Ongoing anxiety, low mood, sleep difficulties or isolation may be reasons to speak with a qualified professional.
### What If You Start Doubting Yourself?
Repeated criticism can sometimes lead people to internalise negative messages or feel that they must hide important parts of themselves to be accepted. If this happens, try to notice where the belief came from and whether it reflects your own considered view or a message you have heard repeatedly from others.
You do not have to resolve every question about identity, faith, culture or relationships all at once. You can explore these questions at your own pace and seek support that does not pressure you to change your sexual orientation or adopt a particular label. Respectful support should make room for your questions while protecting your autonomy.
### How LGBTQ+-Affirming Counselling Can Help
LGBTQ+-affirming counselling can offer a confidential space to process rejection, strengthen self-confidence, manage anxiety and practise responses to difficult conversations. It may also help you identify patterns in relationships, clarify boundaries, make decisions about disclosure and build a support network.
Counselling should not place responsibility for prejudice on the person experiencing it. The purpose is not to teach you to tolerate mistreatment; it is to support your wellbeing, choices and ability to respond in ways that fit your circumstances. Ask a counsellor about their approach and confidentiality procedures if you have concerns before beginning.
### You Deserve Respect, Even When Others Disagree
You cannot control every opinion or reaction, and it is not your job to educate every person who criticises you. You can decide when to explain, when to set a boundary, when to disengage and when to seek help. Those choices may look different in different relationships, especially where safety or dependence is involved.
If criticism about your sexual orientation is affecting your confidence, relationships or emotional wellbeing, Centred Counselling & Mediation offers counselling in Sunninghill, Sandton, and online. You can contact the practice to discuss whether counselling may be useful for your situation.
### Frequently Asked Questions
#### How do I respond when someone criticises my sexual orientation?
If it feels safe, keep your response brief, state the behaviour you will not accept and end the conversation if it becomes abusive. You do not have to debate your identity.
#### What if the criticism comes from my parents or family?
You may explain the impact of their words and set limits, but you do not have to continue conversations that involve insults or threats. Consider your practical safety if you depend on them.
#### Should I try to change someone’s mind?
That depends on the relationship and whether the person is willing to listen respectfully. You can offer information, but you are not responsible for changing someone else’s beliefs.
#### How can I stop criticism from affecting my self-esteem?
Seek supportive relationships, challenge internalised negative messages and limit repeated exposure where possible. Counselling may help if the effects are persistent or overwhelming.
#### Can LGBTQ+-affirming counselling help with family rejection?
It can provide space to process the experience, consider boundaries, strengthen coping skills and plan conversations without pressuring you to disclose or hide your identity.
#### What should I do if criticism becomes threatening?
Prioritise your safety, move away from the immediate situation if possible and contact trusted people or appropriate local emergency and support services.
**Tagged with:** [AnxietyRelief](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/centred-counselling-blog/tag/anxietyrelief) [LGBTQ+](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/centred-counselling-blog/tag/lgbtq)
#### Byron Werbeloff
KEEP READING
## Related Articles
[](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/centred-counselling-blog/lgbtq-mental-health-anxiety-depression-and-support-centred-counselling)
Oct 22, 2026, 4:48:05 AM Byron Werbeloff
### [LGBTQ+ Mental Health: Anxiety, Depression and Support | Centred Counselling](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/centred-counselling-blog/lgbtq-mental-health-anxiety-depression-and-support-centred-counselling)
**Relationships and Family Pressure email moved to Checked off.**
[READ FULL ARTICLE](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/centred-counselling-blog/lgbtq-mental-health-anxiety-depression-and-support-centred-counselling)
[](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/centred-counselling-blog/polyamory-and-open-relationships-building-healthy-relationships-centred-counselling)
Oct 22, 2026, 4:40:41 AM Byron Werbeloff
### [Polyamory and Open Relationships: Building Healthy Relationships | Centred Counselling](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/centred-counselling-blog/polyamory-and-open-relationships-building-healthy-relationships-centred-counselling)
**Gender Transition email moved to Checked off.**
[READ FULL ARTICLE](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/centred-counselling-blog/polyamory-and-open-relationships-building-healthy-relationships-centred-counselling)
[](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/centred-counselling-blog/gender-transition-emotional-challenges-and-counselling-centred-counselling)
Oct 22, 2026, 4:37:20 AM Byron Werbeloff
### [Gender Transition: Emotional Challenges and Counselling | Centred Counselling](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/centred-counselling-blog/gender-transition-emotional-challenges-and-counselling-centred-counselling)
**Handling Criticism email moved to Checked off.**
[READ FULL ARTICLE](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/centred-counselling-blog/gender-transition-emotional-challenges-and-counselling-centred-counselling)
Empowering individuals and couples through evidence-based counselling and mediation. Registered ASCHP professional (WC24/9024).
Quick Links
- [Home](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za)
- [About Me](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/about-me)
- [Articles](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/article)
- [Counselling](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/counselling)
- [Mediation](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/mediation)
- [Video Resources](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/mental-health-vlogs-video-resources)
- [Contact](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/contact-us)
- [Book NOW](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/booking)
Resources
- [FAQ](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/counselling#faq)
- [FAQ Mediation](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/mediation#faq)
- [Downloads](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/article#resources)
- [Cookie Policy](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/terms-conditions-policies#cookies)
- [Privacy Policy](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/terms-conditions-policies#privacy)
- [Terms and Conditions](https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/terms-conditions-policies#terms)
Get in Touch
Call Us [084 485 3541](tel:0844853541)
WhatsApp [Chat with us](https://wa.me/27844853541)
Email Us [info@centredcounselling.co.za](mailto:info@centredcounselling.co.za)
© 2026 Centred Counselling & Mediation. All rights reserved.
[Design by SEO Website Design](https://www.seowebsitedesign.co.za)
[Chat with us](https://wa.me/27844853541)
```json
{
"@context" : "https://schema.org",
"@type" : "BlogPosting",
"author" : {
"@type" : "Person",
"name" : "Byron Werbeloff",
"url" : "https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/centred-counselling-blog/author/byron-werbeloff"
},
"dateModified" : "2026-10-22T08:34:41.588Z",
"datePublished" : "2026-10-22T08:33:09.000Z",
"headline" : "Handling Criticism About Your Sexual Orientation | Centred Counselling",
"image" : [ "https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/hubfs/Handling_Criticism_Blog_Image_Under_100KB.webp" ],
"mainEntityOfPage" : {
"@id" : "https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/centred-counselling-blog/handling-criticism-about-your-sexual-orientation-centred-counselling",
"@type" : "WebPage"
},
"publisher" : {
"@type" : "Organization",
"logo" : {
"@type" : "ImageObject",
"url" : "https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/hubfs/logo.jpeg"
},
"name" : "Centred Counselling"
}
}
```
```json
{
"@context": "https://schema.org",
"@type": "LocalBusiness",
"name": "Centred Counselling & Mediation",
"image": "https://www.centredcounselling.co.za/hubfs/logo1.png",
"@id": "https://www.centredcounselling.co.za",
"url": "https://www.centredcounselling.co.za",
"telephone": "0844853541",
"email": "info@centredcounselling.co.za",
"address": {
"@type": "PostalAddress",
"streetAddress": "153A 9th Avenue",
"addressLocality": "Highlands North",
"addressRegion": "Johannesburg",
"postalCode": "2192",
"addressCountry": "ZA"
},
"geo": {
"@type": "GeoCoordinates",
"latitude": -26.1368,
"longitude": 28.0841
},
"openingHoursSpecification": {
"@type": "OpeningHoursSpecification",
"dayOfWeek": [
"Monday",
"Tuesday",
"Wednesday",
"Thursday",
"Friday"
],
"opens": "08:00",
"closes": "18:00"
},
"sameAs": [
"https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573738539849",
"https://www.instagram.com/centred_counselling/",
"https://www.linkedin.com/in/byron-werbeloff-475bb251/",
"https://www.tiktok.com/@centred.counselli"
],
"founder": {
"@type": "Person",
"name": "Byron Werbeloff",
}
}
```